Carl J. Cox 5:13
Yeah, that it’s it’s very inspiring it’s incredible part behind it. So you, when I was talking with your team and in a little bit of behind what you do, you’ve obviously have shared it directly behind what you do as well. So one of the pieces that you do is you’ll get people connected. Basically, whatever want to call it mastermind program, people are getting connected. So I’ve been on a lot of these different types, and sometimes they work really well. And sometimes they don’t as much. But it sounds like this is really making a transformational difference even in those why what what what’s what’s pushing people to be more connected than they typically would we’re not only they’re connecting with you, but they’re connecting with the people with within that there with on zoom type, you know, right relationships, explain what’s what’s the secret sauce there,
Tommy Breedlove 6:03
the secret sauce is we do not let anyone join our mastermind program, which is our top level group program without having gone through our legendary life foundational retreat. So what does that do? Well, first of all, you’re getting a group of ambitious driven people together somewhere between eight and 12 people together in a very safe, very remote and very rustic location, where there’s no cell phones, there’s no computers, these are ambitious people with families. And so to get them to step away, and there’s a whole lot of pre work before, we’ll just let them walk through the retreat house door. There’s a whole lot of work that goes into that. There’s a whole lot of discerning and interviewing. But when we get them in, all they got to do is show up with an open mind and courage. But when they get there, and they disconnect, and they see that they’re not alone, and whatever thing it is that they are desiring or want to work on, and we take them through an intense personal journey, there’s little to no business, we do do some business on leadership while we’re there. But it’s three and a half days with like minded people. And the program is facilitated in the zone. And it’s intense, man, it’s intense. But it’s in a beautiful part of the Appalachian Mountains. And they build connection, they build trust, they know what value they stand for, and what we stand for by the time they leave. So they have spent three days together. And through that through a very facilitated process, they go we go deep, and then out and then deep and then out and there’s great food, and it’s just beautiful. And literally, we got to kick them out at the very end. And then at that point, they look at us and we look at them and say Are they a fit for our which is our highest level product or legendary life mastermind. And so I think that’s the secret sauce, because it takes so much time to build trust, it takes so much time to build connection. And we take them through purpose and personal mission statement and forgiveness and relationships, all the thing that’s truly important. And then the last day is truly so they’re working in small groups and two on twos and then the big group. And then at the very last day, we take them into the past, present future for them, their businesses, their lives, their families, and it’s just a powerful personal accountability, trust connection. And I think that’s what separates this work because it takes so much time and people have so much going on in their lives and their businesses and time is so sensitive. But when you can you get these people to step away and really invest in themselves. We talked about that heavily for three days, then they have the opportunity to either join or not join us some people aren’t a fit, we just seem they’re not a fit, and we’re just going in different directions. But they’re gonna get something out of it no matter what. And so I think that’s our secret sauce. And here’s, here’s our second secret sauce is I’m no guru, I’m the sage on the stage. I’m not a therapist, I’m a guy who’s made a lot of mistakes in business life money, and have lived to tell about it. And I think that we’re walking shoulder to shoulder with these people that hey, not only are we talking this talk, we’re walking this walk. And with our authenticity, we don’t share opinions, we share wisdom, here’s where I messed up, here’s what I did. Here’s what I do now here’s the person I’m working with on this now and here’s what it looks like. And I think people really respect that I think we crave authenticity I’m not talking about emotionally vomiting, I’m talking about true authenticity is I don’t have all this figured out and here’s what we do and how we do it. I think between those two, it really sets us apart from some of what other folks are doing.
Carl J. Cox 9:22
Awesome I appreciate you sharing a little bit more in depth behind that you know of saying this is this is a pre qualified group and we want to make sure that they’re all in right that that’s probably number one and you already have relationships in connection with them because you How can you not right if you’ve been together for three days I mean, you know we’re lucky right to get 15 minutes our hour somebody right you know, you actually get three full days you’re gonna you know, as I say you play around a golf somebody learned a lot about them. You got three days asleep Muslim sleep. You’re gonna learn a lot more right you know, right. You know, you can’t hide in three consecutive days with with one another. You have what I liked about you talked about that, while you talk about your book. And, and I think it’s a good part we were talking about beforehand. Like you we run some people who’ve been Uber successful, they never literally have to work in a day again, or life. You know, it’s that like meeting their financial visor says, You, you have that, and then some. But like, kind of I mentioned, they’re about ready to put a pencil in the retina, right? You know, because they can’t play another round of golf or catch another fish or shooting another deer. I mean, they’re, they’re like, they’re, like, bored out of their gourd. And because they’re part of their joy was the pursuit, was was doing what they were intended to be on earth for, right? You know, they have this incredible thing. Now, it doesn’t always have to be in the corporate world, but they have to pursue and make a greater difference. So and then the so you have you have this group that and then you have the group that doesn’t feel like they can ever leave their golden handcuffs. You know, they’re caught, they, they they are making very good money. And they either have stock options, or they have you know, they got family at home, their kids going into college. And like I can, I can never leave this I’m and then they, you know, they’re, it’s like every day. It’s like the movie, nobody if you seen that, you know, they they’re just like that these clenched fist, and they’re just grinding just to get to work each day. And it’s like, well, how should we feel bad for them? Right? They’re living on top of the world. But they’re, they’re caught in bondage like anybody else. So those are two different groups of people. Right? And we talked about, you know, the after in the kind of before? What’s the common theme between both? You know, if you may, you know, it or is our common theme between both
Tommy Breedlove 11:46
there’s absolutely a common in this is my very educated opinion. And this word is thrown around a lot. But I’m going to give you my interpretation and definition, and this is your data. This is not anecdotal. I think both both of those groups of people, whether they’re 100 million, 50 million, 10 million, whatever that number is, is they’re seeking a higher purpose to be of service in some way to use their God given talents and the things they love doing to make a difference, whether that’s in employment, whether it’s in business, whether it’s in philanthropy, charity, whatever it might be. And what made that first person successful, that competitive drive that ambition, that growth, that taking risks to get evening, unless you’re born with it, you get to that level of success, you’ve all you’ve compromised, you’ve worked very, very hard. But you have brought value into the marketplace in order to make that and I think they crave that game, I think they crave the competition. But I also think in our core, we’re here to serve, we’re here to be of purpose, we’re not here to be entitled, or victims or complacent. We’re here to move. And so we get that first person gets that level of sex. So that’s purpose, that second person is seeking a higher purpose. You know, we’re tied to our mortgages, where we’re making 250 to 750 a year, we’ve got the Joneses next door, we got to keep up their lifestyle probably got kids in private school, I’ve got charitable concerns. I like the way I dress. I like the car, I drive, if I walk away, I don’t have any of that. That’s it. That’s it, but they hate where they’re at. And that is a lack of purpose as well combined with a boatload of fear and insecurity about what other people think. So let me be clear, the person worth 50 or $100 million has that excuse, insecurity and fear that cares about what other people think I promise you they do, we are not separate, they just have a whole lot of money to give a little bit less care. second group definitely cares. Because if they’re staying in a job, they hate to live a lifestyle they don’t truly enjoy because they’re tied to that thing they don’t like, then that then it’s just an endless hamster will write of, you’re gonna look back and chances are you’re compromising your happiness, your fulfillment, and chances are your family and relationships as well, to keep that particular lifestyle up, and you’re probably working your butt off for honestly, and I don’t mean to be mean here probably for not a lot of money. And so they’re both similar in purpose. And we’re all similar in insecurities, fears, caring about what other people think. And that voice inside our head that says what if they figure out I don’t know what I’m doing. We’re all familiar there. But the common denominator on that second group is the fear of, you know, I have to stay here because out there is so scary. I know what this looks like, out there. Whether it’s entrepreneurship or going to sell coffee or going to be a farmer or being a painter doesn’t matter to me what that is. But to me, this is a very very preciously short life. And what you’ll invest in yourself, what you’ll invest in your family, when you invest in your relationships, if you have the courage to step through that fear and go chase that dream. When you look back, you won’t regret the friendships that you made, the chances that you took in the woods should have could have saved Hey, maybe going out and trying something else or working towards something else. And so that’s a really long winded answer. So its purpose, its insecurity and fears drive ambition. And then that’s what I would say all of us have in common as a human species, especially human species living in a capitalistic society, which, by the way, I love.
Carl J. Cox 15:20
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Oh, boy, you almost got me on a tangent there, and I will stop myself. But, but what’s awesome is is um, yeah, I had I had this experience, I was really fortunate. But it was heartbreaking. Larry Stark, he was VP of sales, a company I worked for. We grew that company three and a half times he was a key was the key one of key catalysts behind help make sure it got done, expanded had a national, Salesforce. And he just was amazing. And he, by the way, this was his last of many things that he had created during the world and had a significant impact on the businesses, right, you know, making positive change. So one day, he has a, you know, a big mall on his ear. And that mall turns into melanoma. And, you know, Matt, I can’t remember exactly period of time, but 18 months, two years later, after several surgeries, and a lot of courage, he passes much sooner than anyone thought he should have and remember going to his funeral. And perhaps the naivety of myself being younger, that point of time out like I’m that old right now. But I remember going in, in just my mind, for whatever reason was thinking, Oh, well, they’re going to talk about all his business accomplishments. We’re going to talk about, they’re going to talk about this and that and this and how to triple that quadruple this. And he, no, no, no, no, no, not. Now, one time. Did anyone met say anything about the amount of money he made the amount of money he made for other people know how much money he had in his bank account, nor any of his success. But people from each one of his companies and organizations that have been apart came to the funeral to express how he had made a difference in their lives. Hmm, legacy. Exactly, exactly. And, and that was really profound for me, at that point in my life of going wow, you know, that we gotta be careful, we’re gonna be super careful of the things we’re chasing. Because when it comes to that end point, keeping the end in mind, does anybody matter? So when let’s kind of curious, because I always like to ask the question, of course, called the Measure Success Podcast. Here, you got your business. Let’s talk about your business side. Right. Your business side is funny, because it’s its business is obviously extraordinarily personal.
Tommy Breedlove 18:02
For me, it is extremely personal.
Carl J. Cox 18:05
Yes. Yeah. So it’s really hard. Yeah, yeah. You can’t really disconnect these two pieces. But let’s just out of curiosity for you. How are you measuring success. I’ll leave it open on the business side behind what you do.
Tommy Breedlove 18:23
I’ll start at our vision of success. So when I say vision, this is our North Star ish. I think it’s a little low. we’re debating whether this is a little low right now. But it’s a million men and women’s lives transformed through positive impact through them living their lives, on their terms, their demands. For me, personally, success is freedom. I’m talking about financial freedom, freedom of my time, where I choose my time. Now I choose my time on the multiple businesses that we have, because I truly enjoy them. They truly do make a great impact in this world. And I want to grow them to the point to where I leave something bigger and better. I don’t want it to be the Tommy Breedlove band or show because the actor will die but I want the movies to live on. We have done that with Legendary. It’s getting into a lot of hands. That is a legacy project for me. We are building the legendary life movement, which is retreats, conferences, masterminds, that’s something bigger than me. And so success for me is a million men’s lives transformed a million men, women’s lives transformed. And we do have KPIs to measure these things. However, think about that. Think about if, if they’re better leaders, they’re better people, they’re better husbands and fathers and wives, they’re better. They’re just, they’re just working hard on themselves. And we’ll never get there. We’re working project, how many lives those people are going to touch. Because if they’re entrepreneurs or executives or managers are there touching other people’s lives, and when they leave themselves and then they can go on to the world and lead others so that would be the definition. Now we have our quarterly goals our quarterly sales goals our quarterly expect, you know We’ve invested into real estate, we actually own the lodge that we run all our events at. And so we have other goals that we have with that. But success for me and our business is freedom of time, freedom of choice, and freedom of where we spend what we wanted, oh, no, are we doing what we want to do? Or am I delivering life for someone else. And so that, to me is success. But we do have a tangible vision there a success, which will make it a little easier. You know, we’re starting all about women’s right now. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna be very clear, the reason we’re only working with men now is a to screw it up so we can get it right on the women’s side. But when men come together, and we start talking about, you know, business failings, or business mistakes, or not being where we want to be in leadership, or anything to do with our relationship with our spouse, or our family, statistically, don’t send me hate mail, this is data. If there’s a female in the room, eight out of 10 will shut down. But however, if there’s other men in the room, I’ve made that mistake or want to desire a better relationship or are struggling with their child, and the other men lean in, they will lean in and lean up. And so we’re creating our women’s programs in 2022, we already have a couple of dates set. So pretty excited about that, because the differences whether the news tells you are not, they’re very, very different. And how we react to them are different. Yeah, it’s very different, regardless of whether I have the data to prove it. I don’t know what the facts get. At the end of the day, that’s how we measure success brother.
Carl J. Cox 21:27
Yeah, yep. And, and, and thank you, I love thank you for providing more depth. It was interesting part of the reason, I felt a little bit bad that I fully hadn’t fully read your book yet prior to the podcast. And once again, my apologies. But the problem, the problem is, is you have gotten me to pull up my own notebook to update my own language. I mean, here on screen those who are watching on YouTube, I’ve got my here’s my seven steps. And I was like, Oh, crap, I got I got to describe a little bit deeper, you know, a little more clarity. So my own pieces cuz I this is what I do. This is what we do for a living is to help other people figure it out. And it’s funny how, you know, as I said, the call her son right into their shoes are done last. I had some of that own. And so that’s why I appreciated reading your book, but literally, it gets you to stop. And this is really built to like, stop and question. Hey, what is this about? What should I be doing? How to go through you? You obviously a different cat and a lot of different ways. And and I mean that a good sincere? You know, yeah, sure. I may have been from linlin the City of Sydney never come out the same way. He came in, just outside of Boston, Massachusetts, go Sox by the way. But but the end go Pats. And you know, you Okay, we will stop in there. But But anyways, the point behind all this is, you have really two significant transformative life points in your life. I know there’s more than that. But in the book, you talk about these two pieces one year younger man. And then one when you had overcome that part to become extraordinary successful in business. So I think this is why I don’t want to go with first. But I think it’s important to talk about because for one for I think let’s talk about the beginning. And the reason why I want to talk about that is there’s a lot of people, there may be a few people listening here today is like I’m never gonna be successful. Because I have a felony or I had a DUI, or I made a really bad mistake, doing something right, where we’re craved pain, harm, tragedy. All all the different things that took place. You had that you had that very personally in your life. So for the audience, you want to explain what happened there. And
Tommy Breedlove 23:55
and I can do both at the same time, because they’re very related. Yeah, I’ll do it quickly so that we can dive in wherever you want to dive in. The first thing I want to say to anyone out there who thinks success is out there. You know, we’ve all had things done to us. We’ve all done things we regret, we can be big or small, right? We’ve all said things we regret. We’ve all had integrity breaches big or small. But we’ve also had things that ended us, the people who said I’ll never be successful, because of x, y, z, you become a victim of your own story. And I trust me, you’re about to hear someone who is a victim of their own story for 36 years. And what we got to do is realize that we can change that story, we can rewrite that story and we can rewire any of those beliefs or insecurities or fears that we have. So first of all want to say they’re not alone. takes one to know one and B, maybe this and you don’t have to have this story. Yeah, of course. I’ll do compare and compete here. This is just a story. You’ve got your own story. Trust me, I don’t want your story and you don’t want mine. And so I grew up extremely humble, a very blue collar hard working part of the world. Unfortunately, I grew up in and around. A lot of violence and abuse, especially inside the home. And outside on the street, but not near as bad as it was on the inside. Unfortunately, I had a full ride to quite a few universities, go dogs, by the way. And instead of being the first person in my family to go to university, and to make something that was about I became what I hated. I became that violence, I became that abuse, I started running through the wrong crowds, and in a fit of rage and anger at 18 years old. I really hurt someone really, really bad. That was very, very important to me. And so as opposed to go into my full ride at the University of Georgia, I was looking at seven years in prison. Luckily, from a lot, it was a first offense I was 18 years old. And luckily they dropped it down to two heavy misdemeanors. I was sentenced to two years in prison two years in jail, and spent my 19th birthday incarcerated literally cleaning toilets in a South Atlanta facility. Here’s the really positive thing. And then I’ll go through the story really quickly. An African American and gentlemen 40 something year old I was 18 cross racial lines and decided to mentoree love me hold me accountable and said yeah, call me young blood young blood, you’re not going to become a part of this revolving door system. Through his guidance, his love his support, pick myself up went to work for a nuclear waste container factory for $6 an hour during the day, putting myself through community college at night, I did end up at the University of Georgia eventually and I literally went from a jail cell to Deloitte in three years. And so that’s one of the biggest accomplishments now let’s fast forward and then if you’re comes transition to so I was I was I was no longer going to use my fist or hands or survive right to become that balance become that. But I became ultra competitive. And here I am. 36 years old corner office, fancy cufflinks on the outside. He said that kids going somewhere you know, he’s the future of that firm. I was very good at my craft. I could sell it. fancy suit. You name it, man. I had it all. But inside I’d never dealt with that rage. I never dealt with that anger. I never dealt with that insecurity as a being told when I was a really young boy that I was unlovable and valuable. And a piece of garbage. I was literally beat into me as a kid. And I still believe that down in my core, right? And when the money the power success, the corner office didn’t fill me up. You know, I was wearing all these masks, tough guy, important guy, arrogant guy couldn’t ask for help guy life for the party guy. I’m the guy that’s gonna buy all the drinks, because I just want you to like me, I just want you to see me, I just want you to love me. And I was doing in all the wrong ways. And when that didn’t fill me up, I turned to the Wolf of Wall Street lifestyle. And it literally at 36 almost cost me my wife almost cost me my firm and almost cost me my life. And literally land in a ditch and downtown Atlanta, like probably in some very expensive suit looking at a blue sky thing and my God, how did I get here? It’s probably doing some multimillion dollar m&a deal the week before some financial audit. But then, literally, I don’t know if it was God, that little boy who had never had a chance, but I said enough is enough. And I’m gonna make me my full time job. And I literally decided to transform my life. Work on my inner game, my heart game, my mind guy, my soul game. It’s just to be a man of integrity, just to learn how to respect myself, learn how to love myself, learn how to be me, like the real Tommy. And not some version of Tommy that I wanted the world to see an Actor in a Play. And at that moment is when and I’ll give you real quick. In three years, when I started making me my full time job working on that inner game. I’m telling you, my money doubled my network 10x I went from junior partner, senior partner international practice later elected to the board at 39. Most of the people were in their 60s.
Just by being a good leader, a good man, a good person. But here’s the most important part from peace of mind to fulfillment to my marriage went from life support to an OIC to just happiness and I didn’t lose my ambition or drive I just became me. And that my brother is when my network corporate executives, entrepreneurs, bankers, lawyers, m&a guys, and gals, they started reaching out to me, say, Hey, man, I don’t know what you did, but I need some of that. And that’s how I landed up in this career. Fast forward 11 years later. So that’s the that’s the whole story right there. Hopefully done fairly quickly.
Carl J. Cox 29:12
No, it’s it’s really powerful. I mean, it’s a really, it’s I think it’s so awesome. Because, you know, this example of First of all, you overcame that massive first hurdle, which most people don’t ever come from. It’s hard. Yeah. And then as you said, you had everything going but you didn’t write Yeah, I mean, you know, you didn’t I mean, you did but you didn’t you know,
Tommy Breedlove 29:39
the House of Cards, man. Right.
Carl J. Cox 29:41
Right. And and so and that’s just that so you know, I’m curious because that’s that’s a lot of mine You know, if you mean brain surgery left for lack of a better term, right and heart, Trent transformation and then how It changes. Right? You will all of a sudden are going. Well, you’re I think you’re speaking more like you do now. Probably better. You probably won’t say I love your brother like you do. You probably weren’t saying that. I’m guessing it’s happened. Right. You know?
Tommy Breedlove 30:14
I love your brother. And I actually mean it. I love you, brother. I have a six foot two big dude.
Carl J. Cox 30:22
Yeah, yeah. And, and so how did people know? How long did it take people to realize it was authentic?
Tommy Breedlove 30:33
Oh, I think it was over a year. Yeah, I think they were also waiting to watch the collapse. And I took a lot of Spears, bullets and arrows from my group. I’m talking about my fellow partners. I’m talking about my network of very successful people, they would literally publicly denounce me because it scared him so much. And so
Carl J. Cox 30:57
let me clarify, they were denouncing your change of heart?
Tommy Breedlove 31:01
Totally, totally. I’ll give you an example. And, you know, I don’t have the noncompetes non disclosures anymore. in a public setting and talking about a big firm in the southeast, you know, I’d moved on to the middle market space, but, you know, they would literally after an event, say, you know, we’re gonna go to Hooters and then that’s code for Hooters, and then bars and then more bars and strip clubs and wherever that comes from there. So what that was code for it can say Hooters, but that was the that was Ground Zero to what was going to be a huge night, you can either go with us, or you can go with Tommy, he’ll be in his office with a candle in his butt singing Kumbaya, and I wasn’t doing any of that. You see, the public ridicule was no longer I was no longer the lion in the room, I was something different. They didn’t understand it. It’s not that they’re bad people, if they didn’t understand it. And so I took a lot of public criticism for that to change eBay. But I think after a year, I think it was an energy flow. I think it was setting the example I wasn’t I never talked about anything I was doing. I never once talked about what I was doing. I didn’t talk about how I was doing it, the coaches, I was working with the books, I was reading the therapy that I was going through for some of the stuff that happened to me as a young boy, I wasn’t talking about any of that I was just showing up. I became you know, arrogance is loud and insecure. Confidence is quiet. And so I became a lot more quiet, I listened probably triple of what I was speaking. It was an it you know, you know, people would good energy and people with that energy, they can suck the life out of the room, or they can lift it up. And so I think talking to talk, walking the walk, I wasn’t talking to talk, I was just walking the walk and I think after a year, and you know, I had a lot of bridges to amend the ones that would let me amend because I left the wake of destruction behind me from the competitive that I had to make any money at all costs to some of the relationships I severed and. And so I think doing everything in my power to live on what I call the right side of the street, not the wrong side of the street. For me what that means to me. I think it took them over a year. And then I think they really, really started understanding it man, I literally in a moment of, I gotta get out of here, over the next six months, sold my equity and took 60 to 70% of our household income away overnight, to go chase this dream because I believed in it so much. And I just knew I didn’t want to be in that world anymore. And so I think they really knew I was walking the walk when this got in. And trust me I lost half my network at that time because they thought I was insane. Yeah, yeah, of course. This guy’s gone crazy. Join a cult man. And I had not, but caught and here’s the thing, the different that the thing that I do now that I did back then is every single day. I work on that inner game, self respect, self confidence, wisdom, seeking, reading, meditating, gratitude, walking the walk, so that I can lead me so that can lead others now. I’ll leave it at that brother.
Carl J. Cox 33:53
I it’s an awesome, your testimony is awesome. And it’s it really is. I mean, sincerely, you know, we forget in the Good Book, I’m referring to the Bible, those are familiar with it. Other than one everyone every other person was pretty much a train wreck. And God God found a way and opportunity to you know, get get some of the work for them. And, and, and we all putting
Tommy Breedlove 34:17
it mildly By the way, that’s like a really nice thing to say. Yeah, well,
Carl J. Cox 34:21
yeah, I mean, but but we but we all are, you know, we all have our some have small train wrecks. Some have big train wrecks. Yeah, but but we all fall short. And, but amazing things can happen through us, you know, when when we allow? Right God and you mentioned something to which is I think so profound that you were alluding to, it’s so fascinating. I’m just gonna go to the good the great behind me. You know, Jim Collins, despite every single ounce of the soul said I do not want this to be a leadership book. Hmm. And after every single research thing this they finally, just call They said, Jim, you know, you are wrong. Because every single leader is a level five leader now they changed the level five leader because they didn’t want the world to be annoyed by the comment that they were servant based leaders. What does that mean? The company, the organization that people around them meant more to them than themselves. Hmm. Right. So that was the big difference. You know, it was this, it was this outpouring. They didn’t, they didn’t have lack of ego. But their ego was their organization, it was their team, it was the people that are making a difference with Yeah, there was those of five leaders, those are the greatest organizations that had been recorded, and they were during that period of study, you can’t refute the data. And so it’s interesting how you talk about how you change from once again, Lion I mentioned, but what’s interesting is the, the Lamb so to speak, right, you know, is more powerful, you know, and walking with the dog, you know, it’s what’s fascinating is the things that were that the world sees as success is often not, it’s empty. I go back to Larry Stark, and I mentioned right, you know, and is nobody cared. Nobody cared about all the deals, all the things, all they what they cared about is the legacy.
Tommy Breedlove 36:16
And is your resume the resume.
Carl J. Cox 36:19
Right, right. Right.
Tommy Breedlove 36:21
So do you have probably truly failed? Everything else?
Carl J. Cox 36:29
We couldn’t find anything. But
Tommy Breedlove 36:32
here’s what he did. Here’s his resume. Are you gonna read this as a eulogy?
Carl J. Cox 36:37
Don’t you know it is read from LinkedIn, and then never done?
Tommy Breedlove 36:42
That’s when you have like, I don’t know where he ended up. Oh, goodness, that’s good stuff.
Carl J. Cox 36:50
So um, okay, this is this is. It’s been awesome. So I want to go a little bit further, though. Just talking about. So we have the difference we have. So what are the steps that you’re typically, you know, actions, let’s go go forward to clearly, you know, once again, this this, we have to change our habits. Yes. Right. You know, so one thing is, first of all, and I’ll just say this, each person is measuring their own success. That’s what I call this motion. And by the way, I don’t give what success is because success is different for each human. Yeah, totally. Right. Right. You know, so you have to go within Gosh, if you haven’t, you’re here we are in 30. some odd episodes, if you haven’t figured out yet. Okay, that’s, that’s kind of the core message, you got to figure out your own success. And, but secondly, describing
Tommy Breedlove 37:36
what love is, it means something different everyone.
Carl J. Cox 37:39
Right, right. And so that’s that part. You mentioned a little bit, but let me just ask you in different ways, what are the habit changes that people have to start doing? So they can start reaching their success more deeply?
Tommy Breedlove 37:57
Totally, I think. And I love the word you use and I swipe open up legendary with it. It’s it’s action. And I learned this from a great book called feck. Perfection go with that. That’s a crazy name of a function. And he says, and it’s the James Victoria says, intention without action, and action without intention. I’ll say it though. Nice words, nonsense. He says a little different than than that. But intention without action. And action without intention is nonsense. So I think we have to set the intention, a strategy, set our goals, the strategy, set, our vision, our mission, the strategy, but we got to take action. And that’s the habit. That’s a you know, the law of attraction is great. Car Matic law was great souls, great spirits, great, but it requires you to move. You can’t sit there and meditate your way into a million dollars, you have to actually take actions in order to do it. So for me, I’m going to I’m going to start with theory. And then I’m going to go deep into the actual habits and we go deep into these in legendary and you pick the flavor that means something to you different flavors for different people and different things work. That’s why we put so many in there. But they’re simple and they’re actionable. So to me first, I think we need a paradigm shift. We say our family and friends are first our business is second.
Carl J. Cox 39:10
forgiving her laughing.
Tommy Breedlove 39:11
We say that way. But the truth is if you’re listening to this podcast, to men speaking to you, we put our businesses first our family and friends second and ourselves last. To me, we need a paradigm shift. We need to put ourselves first. And I’m talking about leaning in to lead ourselves can’t lead others if we don’t lead ourselves can’t respect others if we can’t respect ourselves can’t truly love others if we’re beating our nonsense out of ourselves in our minds and hearts. So the paradigm shift is this and it’s gonna sound like the most selfish thing. It’s the actual the most selfless. You want to be successful leader be successful at leading yourself. When you do this, you are actually making the best investment into your business or your career that you’ll ever make. So I’m talking about the first habit every single day is when you get up, and you open your eyes, instead of grabbing your phone and head into the bathroom, the habits are this, you start investing yourself immediately. And I’m talking about it could be an hour a day can be two hours a day and it takes, it’s just like muscles. In order to build your physical muscles, if you stop working out and running and doing cardio, you’re going to get atrophy, right? Same thing with nutrition, you’ll gain weight. Same thing goes with your heart, your mind and your soul. You’ve got to work on those muscles every day, even when they’re weak. And if you don’t think we’re emotionally, mentally and spiritually weak, turn on the news and social media that will show you how weak we are. But we’ve got to change the paradigm we have to build habits and I’ll give you some of what mine are. We have to build habits like every single day I wake up, I’m spending an hour on mental, emotional, spiritual, and I’m spending about an hour on physical, that’s what I do. And sometimes I mix it up during the day, depending on my day goes I’m not that dogmatic, 5am 4am 3am 2am nonsense out there in the entrepreneur world, I mix it up, I get it in what I can. But it’s got to be an hour to today, that’s literally a small percentage of your day so that you can go lead and love better into your businesses and lives. And so for me, the daily habits that I have, that I that I cannot mess is I have a formal and informal gratitude practice. I have a formal intention setting practice. I pray, I meditate. I’m always reading one or two books. One of them is always in the self development and or business space, always reading one. And the other is usually a great historical book and or biography, you see some of the biographies over my left shoulder, because I want to read what other great people who inspired me have done and also see how human and messed up they were as well, like all the greats. And so for me, it’s meditating, it’s journaling, it’s gratitude. It’s a form of intention setting practice, it’s prayer, it’s meditation, it’s getting quiet, I spend a lot of quiet time, I take walks on a daily basis, usually without any kind of stuff in my ears. So that can just kind of get clear and think about where we’re wanting to go. And finally, you can’t do anything without your fortress being protected. So for me, the priorities are this rest number one, that’s where we that’s where we fail the most. And I’m talking sleep, and resting, having some fun. Number two would be your physical body. Number three would be your heart, mind and soul. And they’re all there. It’s one stew, you take ingredients out, the stew stinks. And so there’s a billion different habits. There’s a billion different strategies. We list a whole boatload of simple, simple, simple things in legendary to help you lead yourself. It is a leadership book, but it’s about leading yourself and living the life that you want to live and the width, the ambitions you want. And so that hopefully you’ll leave a legacy and I’ll leave it at that brother.
Carl J. Cox 42:45
No, I love it. And thank you for Brian word depth and details. Because often we’ll read something Oh, you got to work on yourself. It’s like, Well, what does that mean? And they don’t actually understand it takes hard work. And what we do one divided by one hour divided by 24 hours. That’s that’s not a big percentage of your life.
Tommy Breedlove 43:05
No, and it’s better than watching and i Hey, man, there’s some TV shows like Peaky Blinders. I know that it’s just trash TV. I love it. I’m just gonna own it. But that’s poison going in your eyes and ears, man because it’s just it’s just anger and hate and division and fighting and but you know, it’s a guilty pleasure. But think about when you’re doing that you’re putting nutrition you’re putting goodness, you’re putting seeking, you’re putting wisdom into your eyes, as opposed to the our division or news or poison and all that. And by the way, the last thing I do, I don’t own this. Because I want everyone to hear me I’m in the self development coaching space, it fell in my lap. We talked about it before you and I got on air. I’m going to spend three days with Darren Hardy next week. I invest. I don’t just walk the walk. I mean, I don’t talk to talk, I walk the walk. I work with coaches. I was on with therapists this morning. I have talked to him in two years. I’m like, you know what, I just need to check in, you check in where’s my blind spots? Where am I not seeing where I’m supposed to be? Here’s my relationship with my wife right now. And he’s he’s like talking to Yoda, man. He’s always giving me great tools and tips. I’m like, God, I leave better than so. And that’s just me being honest. Talk to my therapist today. constantly working with coaches, I’m constantly sharpening my pencil and I also have an internal board of directors that I meet with once a month to love me, but also kick me in the face and hold me accountable. So it’s also I do invest in myself just like I asked others to do it. So I work with people to help me sharpen my pencil.
Carl J. Cox 44:28
Yeah, yeah, it’s awesome. I You said you mentioned you’re going to the Darren Hardy training a huge fan of Darren Hardy as well. And and when they talk about that, a couple things to talk about is once again focusing on working on yourself, creating those habits and actions as we talked about, not just talking about it. And Brian Tracy talks about this too is that if you take if you invest 10% of your earnings into yourself return return Get yes yes it’s just crazy it’s just crazy amount yeah you see you walk back I mean people who who aren’t listened distance see what Tony Did he just walked out like yes this is the thing is not because you’re in this is because you know the return it creates I have multiple lived
Tommy Breedlove 45:15
on both sides
Carl J. Cox 45:16
I’ve lived on both sides. Yeah, exactly and and so it is love it I love the power round at one of my favorite clients. He’s one of the top financial advisors in the US. And he has a habit driven ritual that would blow your mind. It looks like he is doing the Olympics. You know, he that I mean that as how ingrained you know they there’s this thing you’re saying and the Good to Great was rinsing your cottage cheese, right? You know, of like, well, that’s silly. Why would you rent your cottage cheese. But the concept once again is just you’re so driven, to do better work to be a better human to be a better father to be a better husband, wife, whatever, friend, you know, and boy, holy cow. My family My family has been listening to this one you know, for just forgive me and sorry. And I apologize. Boy, I fall short too many days too many times.
Tommy Breedlove 46:18
We all do. We all do. But
Carl J. Cox 46:21
but the the we don’t ever get a chance if we don’t work on our ourselves to be better at it. Right? You know, the times are typical I fail is because I am tired at the end of the day. You know, and I haven’t re re energized my mind a bit if you know, the I came back from a flight last night. And my youngest daughter said, Oh look, the dog just all the water is gone when you fill that up. And I was like what you’re telling me to do what? I totally had this advert. And I was not a good human moment nor seven days later, I tell you that I mean, and and so we all still fail, but it’s important to to recover. Forgive say sorry, once Gavin and say Forgive me Sorry, kids, you know, sorry. But that the importance of just once again, continuously refresh ourselves because I have a but a year ago, my appendix burst and I and it didn’t just burst it like blew up. And so I was in the hospital about 100 miles away from my house. And they had four days and G tube down my throat. Yeah, I was there for a week in the hospital. There’s no COVID and, and here I’m year later and about a month away from running my first marathon. And But how was because I finally followed a program and a strategy to get there. Right. And it took small habits I thought I could run three miles after not moving for six months. Oops, that was like the biggest failure
Tommy Breedlove 48:02
on our list.
Carl J. Cox 48:07
But you know, it’s it’s funny how once again we have to do these things make these changes do these incredible things. Um, okay, so we’re getting near the end here Tommy of things. What is what is one thing and we got a couple of these these questions asked you what, what’s the one thing that obviously we I recommend people to pick up your book and legendary and take a look at it. But even if they didn’t, and the one thing they need to take away from your experiences, one little habit and outside of the 50 things. What’s the one thing that somebody could do today tomorrow to start getting themselves to the path to where they’re starting to? They are starting to be have the life that was intended for
Tommy Breedlove 48:56
them? Yep. If I had to pick one thing I would look over my shoulder if you if this is going to be recorded on video put on YouTube. It is look over Carl shoulder and look over my shoulder. They’re both have one thing in common is there a some great, great, great wisdom behind us. And unapplied wisdom is absolutely useless and pot quite quite possibly the saddest thing on earth. read every single self development and business book you can get your hands on, but apply at least one or two things per book. So it’s intention and action. If I had to think of the one thing because it has rewired my mind. It’s rewired my heart. It’s rewired my soul. It’s gave me tools and wisdom. But I have to apply these and I think it’s such an extreme. I’ll pick one or two per book and I have my entire team get involved in it. That way I can’t let myself down because then I’m letting them down because they’re doing it with me. I would say read every single thing and if you don’t like to read like even legendary my book, I will read it to you via audible. You don’t even have to read it. I’ll read it to you. And so listen, and or read everything you can get your hands on and apply at least one principle into your life that will change. And I’m talking exponentially if you just do that one simple thing every day, compound interest, man, it’ll pay dividends like you’ve never seen.
Carl J. Cox 50:22
Here. Yeah. You remember Zig Ziglar, the late great Zig Ziglar. And, you know, one of his great terms was to be a great leader, you have to be a great reader. And I say, be a great listener, because I typically do audio books as well. That’s my favorite way to learn and go through things. But yeah, absolutely. That is a great wisdom suggestion. So on that term on those notes, you actually, in the back of your book, have multiple suggestions of books in different areas that you’d recommend for, for for our audience, if there’s, let’s say, two books, outside of your book, so to book you know, that that like, garnish you are sorry, I have a plug in that. Yeah, they’re gonna definitely read it. You know that cuz you got an awesome story. And it’s, it is a simple, I say this wholesome, simple was the book. Very simple. Yeah, that that anybody can actually discern, I
Tommy Breedlove 51:17
think that’s why it’s done so well. It’s executable, and it’s simple. And it’s fun. Yeah,
Carl J. Cox 51:21
yeah, it is. I said, it’s part of my biggest problem has stopped me along the way listening to because I’m like, Oh, crap, I gotta apply this. So I’m like, applying things right away, and it’s telling me up on my completion. What are what are a couple books along these lines of trying to attain wisdom that you recommend?
Tommy Breedlove 51:39
Alright, I’m gonna go outside the lines here. Okay. I’m gonna do very, very different books, because I was, I’ll tell you what I was gonna say, because I just love it. I’ve read it like six times Napoleon hills thinking grow rich. I just love that book. probably read it. And I’ve worked that book about six times. What do two different ones that I’m not going to do that I’m going to do? I’m going to go into biography and then the fiction. Are you ready for this? Yeah. And I would listen to both of these because if you look at them, you’re going to get overwhelmed. I would read Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow. And I’m talking about from someone overcoming everything to becoming everything too. You’ll learn so much history about this country, how it was formed the sacrifices those men and women made the mistakes and humanity that man had to the vice president shooting him to killing him, which is you think we got problems now? Shoot, I think from a historical perspective, from an inspirational perspective, from a how this country was formed perspective, it is world class and world class written. It’s such a good book, I read it back to back. And so that’s that’s how and the second one I read back to back and this is fiction. Do not send me hate mail, but I’m just gonna tell you what it is because I believe this country needs it right now. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read it back to back. And you’re talking about someone who wrote a fictional book based on her experiences as a Jew in Russia and seeing communism seeing totalitarianism and fascism and then working her way here into the United States. And writing a fictional world class story. I would say those two books is is if I can make required reading and I don’t have that ability or power I’m going off the off the off the scope here. But I would read those two books. And if you listen to them, you’ll take a journey like no other. And by the way, my favorite character, real or fake? I love Abraham Lincoln, but outside of maybe aim is Hank Rearden in Atlas Shrugged, if I had to come back and be somebody, I think it would be him.
Carl J. Cox 53:44
is awesome that Atlas Shrugged is I agree it’s a good better audio. I mean, easier, right? easier if you’re, if you pick it up, right? Yeah, yeah. It’s like, Can I get the you know, few chapter version and take it but it is. It is powerful. It’s a great metaphor, and to view things and it’s all throw in if you’re going to read that read Animal Farm, or that was one of the most simple classics out there. Good reading for once again, modern world, right, you know, that we’re in today. This has been absolutely awesome. Tommy, talk with you. This is I knew there’s gonna be as fun and I wish I could if I had like a daily show, unfortunately, I would at whitecap for sure do anything. I like, okay, I want I want my five minute Tommy segment. I know I’m on Tommy’s daily email. He has a daily thing that comes out. So Tommy, what are some ways that people could get connected with you on a regular basis?
Tommy Breedlove 54:41
Absolutely. First of all, if if check out the book, it’s it all your favorite bookstores, I’ll read it to you. It’s an electronic hardbacks off course it’s around. It’s simple. It’s executable. It’s fun. I think you’d really enjoy it. And I think at least one thing would change I’d say reach out to that. Follow us on social media. We’re actually on social media, but we put out Like, for now, we put out leadership like goodness, no, no politics, no division, no hatred. Or if you’re interested in maybe getting involved with a retreat or coming to a conference or joining a mastermind or our community, we have a we have some other things that we’re doing community wise. Reach out to us at info@tommybreedlove.com we’d love to hear from you. We have three people, including myself that check that info at Tommybreedlove.com. Ask us about a retreat, asked about mastermind. We do do some one on one coaching. That’s a little different game. But yeah, please reach out to us. Check us out on social media at Tommy Breedlove. And or check out the book. There’s a bunch of ways to connect with us.
Carl J. Cox 55:38
I mean, it’s been an absolute pleasure to have you on. I love your once again, can’t say enough about what you’re doing your messaging your stories. You’re definitely somebody I follow on a regular basis now and look forward to continue to hear your success but more importantly the success that you driving in others. And so thank you so much for that. And so Tommy, thank you so much for being on the Measure Success Podcast show.
Tommy Breedlove 56:03
What an honor my brother here’s to participating in our own rescue and being a little bit better every day.
Carl J. Cox 56:07
Absolutely. And to everyone else, wishing you the very best and measuring your success. Have a great day.
Outro 56:15
Thanks for listening to the Measure Success Podcast. We’ll see you again next time to learn from the best. Remember to subscribe now to get future episodes.
